Living Through A Lie
by Nayla2010
Summary: All over the wizarding world, people are having problems going through the war that is raging on. Some have it harder then others, especially Lily Evans. Even though her life seems together. After somehow getting sucked into the Death Eater life, she will


**Title:** Living Through A Lie

**Author:** Queen Of Day Dreams

**Summary:** All over the wizarding world, people are having problems going through the war that is raging on. Some have it harder then others, especially Lily Evans. Even though her life seems together. After somehow getting sucked into the Death Eater life, she will always have to split her loyalties.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter. Nor do I own some of the characters.

**Author Notes:** Hello all! I finally stop writing oh so many one-shots. I have actually set up an account at Unknowable Room, which is awesome by the way. But I hope my fans (If I have any anymore) Will enjoy this, my writing has improved, so I hope this is good for you all.

-&-

Two spoons of coffee and one of sugar. Add hot water, and a dash of milk, and it was the recipe of one of the best drinks in the world. Coffee.

Swirling around the contents inside the chipped pink mug until the ingredients have blended together, she quickly discarded the spoon into the sink as she swept over to her desk. Where documents she couldn't care about were piled a mile high on her desk. A sigh escaped her pale lips, better get back to work.

Sitting herself down on to her chair, as she started to ruffle through the documents. As tiring as it was, she still got engross with the contents. Stamp some documents and send them off to a different department. Sign some papers and send them to the owners, schedule some appointments and make a note of them on her agenda.

Soon the few seconds turned into hours, not even realizing the time as she wasn't even half through her pile, in the middle of writing something up when a sharp pain shot on her left fore arm.

She dropped the quill, and grabbed at her forearm. A face of pain went across her face as she gripped the arm hard. Sure to leave marks, even though she was wearing a sweater. Biting her tongue as she forced her hand to let go, she had to act normal no matter how bad the pain was throbbing. As she let go, the pain seemed to just double, fighting her instinct to grab it and try to vanish the pain.

Instead, she took her hairpin and pinned her long dark red hair back. Just so her emerald green eyes could take a peek at her work. But before she could even attempt to pick up a quill, one of her perky co-workers came by.

"Oh Lily! Hey-have you been working here all day?" Said the grinning face, oh how badly Lily wanted to punch her lights out. This girl was always perky and perfect, the type that seemed to run on batteries that would last a life time.

"Well, yeah" She answered, putting on a brave grin. Grabbing her hand and digging her short nails into her hand, it lessened the pain just a tad. Not much but it was better then nothing.

"Oh, well seems you might need to finish all of those tomorrow. Times up and they are about to close up the department for tonight." Lily glanced quickly at the clock, eight o'clock, so it was time to go home.

"But some of us are going to go out and get a drink, want to come?" She asked, twisting her light brown hair on her long blue nails. Lily could hardly stand to look at them, they were so…tacky.

At these words, the pain throbbed unbelievably to a large amount. As if it was forbidding answering yes to the girls question. Lily bit down on her tongue fast; she could almost feel the tears. She could scream, tear out all of the hairs on her head. If only to prevent the pain she was going through. _'I'm saying no!'_ She thought to herself desperately, as if it would calm the pain down. As if pains can listen to her thoughts.

"I-I can't tonight, I have plans" Lily said through her clenched teeth. She hoped she sounded normal.

"With James?" Said the coworker; a sly grin was on her face as she gave a suggested wink towards Lily. Completely gross to have your perky co-workers know about your dates with your boyfriend.

"No, not-not tonight. I have plans," Lily said, hoping to shake off the co-worker before her hand found her wand.

"Alright then, I'll see you tomorrow Lily!" She said, before sweeping out of Lily's office. As if she was queen of the world with her nose stuck up high in the air as she wiggled her pompous ass.

"See you Lisa!" Lily cried before the door shut on her. As soon as the door closed, Lily swept half of her desk into her bag before power walking to the door. She was pretty sure that an open ink bottle went in, but she couldn't even care about it at the moment. Out the door and locking it with a spell, she did an even faster power walk to the elevator.

It took a while for the clattering elevator to finally get to her floor. With a slight _pink _it opened up, no one was in. Rushing in as Lily pressed the button fervently. As if a little kid she hoped from one foot to another. She had to get into an area where she could aperate. She didn't want to be a second late, but she was over the limit by several minutes.

'Clink', it was a faint noise but she heard it. The doors were opening and she was out of there before it really opened completely. She was power walking much too quickly to actually be considered power walking, she was just past the fountain when a sudden voice stopped her.

"Lily!" Cried the masculine voice, a series of hurried steps came out running to her back. She shut her eyes and let out an angry sigh out. She willed herself that she would have enough patience and that the pain would slow down for just a minute. As if by magic, she turned around. She had a bright smile while her eyes shone, it was a wonder how she did it.

"Lily, there you are, I tried to find you up in your office but Lisa said you already left when I got there." Remus said, brushing some of his blonde hair out of his gray eyes. He was still panting for trying to catch up with her.

"Anyway, just need to tell you that there is going to be another meeting tonight." He said looking at her with not much subtle hints that she knew instantly what he meant.

A burst of pain went through her left forearm, trying so hard not to scream out in sheer agony. She had to answer the question before it got any worse.

"Argh, I can't, I have plans with some of the workers. And you know that I'm still trying to find out if William in my department is a Death Eater. We're going to a pub tonight, so we might spill the beans." She whispered to Remus, her foot jiggling quite a bit as she tried to straighten herself up.

Remus looked down at her foot and must have thought she had to go to the bathroom. Why on earth otherwise would she be so antsy to get out?

"Well, I better let you go. I'll tell James, see you Lily!" Remus cried as Lily ran out of the place with a quick, 'Good bye' over her shoulders.

The pain had lessened when she told Remus she couldn't go to the meeting of The Order. No, it was too risky to go tonight. Way too risky. She ran down the street, and pushed aside many people. Just to get down an empty alleyway.

Trash littered the ground, and it seemed as if no one had used it for years. Which was true. Muggle kids didn't come here because their parents forbid them. As well as the smell kept them out. Muggle adults avoided going in the alley at all, in case of being raped or mugged.

Oh how much Lily wished those where the worst of her worries at night. How she wished that, that was all she worried about. But something much more sinister was going on through her mind that only a few unwanted people knew about.

Grabbing the midnight black robe from her bag as she draped it over her, she felt the pain on her arm go down. As if it was content she was finally able to get the robe on. Finally she reached in for her mask. A white mask she put on. If she went out right now in the wizarding world she would be kicked into Azkaban.

Turning around she apperated into her spot of the circle. In a lonely house far away where only a few can actually apperate. She was 'privileged' enough to be able to access to the place. Besides her, were some people she knew and didn't. They all formed a circle surrounding one of the most feared person in her world. She took a sweep around the room with her eyes. A small relieved sigh escaped her lips, she wasn't so late as some people where. Over the next few minutes, popping could be heard as more people arrived.

Soon the circle was complete, and the figure in the middle spoke with voice that sent shivers down the spine of Lily's back.

"Finally, after _some_ of you have decided to turn up. While some others are foolish enough to try and run away from me." A pause was here and a few nervous chuckles went around. But some actually laughed as if it was a good joke.

"We will have to track them down I daresay, we cannot let them go with out being _unpunished_ can I?" A few cheers came from the same group who laughed. Lily was not one of them.

"But now, let us give us some of your reports and plans. Malfoy?" He questioned, a few heads turned looking for the name. Soon all eyes were the person who broke from the circle.

Lily shut her eyes; she couldn't bear to be here. But she was forced. Nasty black clouds seem to fallow her into these horrible traps. She got sucked in, and now it was too late to get out. She never wanted to be in, she was just angry over some drama. Now it's too late, her fate was sealed.

As Malfoy went on about the torturing and spells that were being put on the work. Lily mostly tuned him out if she could. But not all the time, Lord Voldemort always knew if she wasn't paying attention. It was worse then class, the teachers were a bit daft so they never knew if the person was goofing around behind their backs.

She hated to listen to such reports, she would always fear if she were listening to Malfoy of how fun it was to torture her parents, all the blood and all the screaming-

"Is someone _not_ paying attention?" Said a cold voice next to her ear. She jumped as she saw him _leering_ down at her like that. Her mouth went dry, her heartbeat sped up to a high rate and her knees were weak. Her hands were sweating, and her breathing was hard to catch.

"My dear, this has been how many times I've caught you day dreaming? I think, a _punishment_ for you is in order," Drawled the cold voice, as if he was merely bored.

"No, Lord, I promise! It won't happen again! I swear, please Lord, please?" Her voice was cracking as she felt her fear jump up her throat. Her heartbeat sped up way too fast as she felt her body shake. She was just at the point of going down on her knees and kissing his feet.

"No, that's what you said last time. But you broke your promise, didn't you? _Crucio!_" He yelled coldly, pointing his wand at her.

Pain like nothing she had experienced stabbed her. As if a thousand knives were plunging down into her skin. She screamed, a scream that rattled the glass panes as the others just laughed at her weakness. Her mind was everywhere and she could barely breathe. Where was the blood? Pain like this should have the blood somewhere. Oh god, when will it stop? It seemed as if it was going on for hours at a time. She screamed and screamed until he finally removed the curse off of her.

It was only then that she realized that she was on the floor curled like a ball, her breathing was coming in short gasp as she felt the silent tears make way across her cheeks. She felt as if bruises were scattered all over her. She wobbled as she stood up; the laughter was still all roaring around her.

"Sorry for the interruptions Malfoy, you may go on," Voldemort said, his eyes staring at Lily while his voice as Malfoy.

Lily with her head held high, as the tears rolled down, she listened to the ravings of the recent torture Malfoy had done to some innocent bystander.

-&-

A few hours later and a few more screams, Lily was back at the apartment that James and her shared. She was at the front door with the black robe and the white mask tucked safely in her bag. Opening the door with her key as she limped in. Hearing the clattering of silver ware from the kitchen.

"Lily! Hey!" James said, as he jumped from the table and greeted Lily with a quick kiss on her lips.

"Come sit, have you eaten?" James asked her, as he got an extra plate from the cupboard. He placed the plate down and surrounded it with some knife and a fork. Lily pulled the chair out and placed herself in it.

"So, how was your day?" James asked as his eyes were on his food as he ate as if it was going out in style.

"Tiring, but I should be alright with a good rest" Lily lied through her teeth, but it wasn't as if she could tell her boyfriend the truth.

"I know what you mean. St. Mungo is filled with case after case. You have no idea how many times people are coming in. 'Crucio' is becoming a popular spell with the Death Eaters. It's absolutely horrible, don't you think? How all the Death Eaters just torture people like that?" James asked, staring at her with his hazel eyes.

Oh of course she thought it was horrible, but she had no choice, she had to fight on two sides.

-&-

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